Week Of 16 April, 2006

THINGS TO PONDER
Is it fair to give a Hollywood star to Winnie the Pooh, but not to Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo?

OUGHTA BE A BUMPER STICKER
If The Van Is Rocking, Call 911 - I'm Having Another Seizure

ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING?
Speaking of bumper stickers, one that has really caught my attention is, "Caution: In Case Of Rapture This Vehicle Will Be Unmanned." How thoughtful of these folks to tell me that, when the end comes and they're suddenly swept off to heaven, I should be careful about all the driverless cars on the road. I mean, how would I explain that accident to my insurance company? "One minute there was a guy driving the car, the next minute he was gone!" As I certainly won't be ascending, I hope they'll start to offer "unmanned car rapture collision insurance" someday soon.

WHAT WEBSTER WON'T TELL YOU
Legislater (singular noun): Not to be confused with a "legislator," legislaters are lawmakers who recently left office in disgrace, or are soon to vacate, because of their own corruption, incompetence or other misdeeds. "Duke" Cunningham? Later! Tom DeLay? Later!!!

HOW HAVE WE SURVIVED WITHOUT IT?
A "pregnant" robot called "Noelle" is now being used to train medical students on how to assist with the birthing of a child. Her (its?) realistic human appearance begs the following questions:

Do they dope Noelle up before delivery?

Do they, um, shave Noelle's syngina before delivery so it won't tickle the baby's nose on the way out?

Is Noelle equipped with a voice-chip, enabling her to scream, "Push? Yeah, I'll push, you bastard! YOU did this to me, you goddamned son of a bitch!!!"

SHOUT-OUT TO ALL MY BLOGGAZ!!!
Check out this blogger's site, and be sure to tell 'em Pete sent ya!