Week of 23 April, 2006
WHO KNEW IT WAS THIS EASY?
The proverbial "dirty old man" was arrested in South Florida recently after posing as a doctor and going door to door offering free breast exams. Several women took Philip Winikoff, 76, up on the offer before one got suspicious and called the police. Apparently carrying a black bag and saying you're with a local hospital is all you need do to get some women to doff their blouses. Perhaps those "FBI" t-shirts, that is, the ones which read "Female Body Inspector," may not be such a silly investment after all.
THINGS TO PONDER
Anti-depressants like Prozac often cause "certain sexual side effects" in users, i.e. erectile dysfunction and ejaculatory failure. What could be more of a bummer?
OUGHTA BE A BUMPER STICKER
My Honor Student Beat Up Your Messiah
WHAT WEBSTER WON'T TELL YOU
Consternative (singular noun): A politically brain-dead person prone to causing consternation among intelligent people.
UNCONVENTIONAL WISDOM
It's time to retire the overused expression "aid and comfort." One of the most annoying phrases of the war on terror, it just doesn't work. I picture this: "Come sit down, Mr. Terrorist. I'll get you a Band-Aid and a pillow while my wife fixes you some soup. You can bunk with our teenage daughter until you feel better." See? Totally wrong.
SHOUT-OUT TO ALL MY BLOGGAZ!!!
Check out this blogger's site, and be sure to tell 'em Pete sent ya!
The proverbial "dirty old man" was arrested in South Florida recently after posing as a doctor and going door to door offering free breast exams. Several women took Philip Winikoff, 76, up on the offer before one got suspicious and called the police. Apparently carrying a black bag and saying you're with a local hospital is all you need do to get some women to doff their blouses. Perhaps those "FBI" t-shirts, that is, the ones which read "Female Body Inspector," may not be such a silly investment after all.
THINGS TO PONDER
Anti-depressants like Prozac often cause "certain sexual side effects" in users, i.e. erectile dysfunction and ejaculatory failure. What could be more of a bummer?
OUGHTA BE A BUMPER STICKER
My Honor Student Beat Up Your Messiah
WHAT WEBSTER WON'T TELL YOU
Consternative (singular noun): A politically brain-dead person prone to causing consternation among intelligent people.
UNCONVENTIONAL WISDOM
It's time to retire the overused expression "aid and comfort." One of the most annoying phrases of the war on terror, it just doesn't work. I picture this: "Come sit down, Mr. Terrorist. I'll get you a Band-Aid and a pillow while my wife fixes you some soup. You can bunk with our teenage daughter until you feel better." See? Totally wrong.
SHOUT-OUT TO ALL MY BLOGGAZ!!!
Check out this blogger's site, and be sure to tell 'em Pete sent ya!
posted by Pete Bogs at
4/23/2006 10:50:00 AM
14 Comments:
hahahaha! i'm in hysterics! at first i thought the kind doctor was offering door-to-door free breast exams to little old ladies who have lost their wits and are easily bamboozled and swayed. but then i read the link - oh my - two women in their 30s - presumably they have not lost their wits (though i wonder if they ever had any to begin with).
love the link to the blog - and the christian lawsuit against tolerance. great post and the comments (some of 'em) would be hysterical if they didn't reveal the stupidty and prejudice of the commenters.
of course, tolerance has its limits - (have you caught the southpark episode on the museum of tolerance - hilarious).
but now that i'm thinking about it- geesh - bogs - i woke up in a fine mood this morning, but now that mood is dipping - because of your blog! the world is filled with hopelessly ignorant and stupid people. is there no hope?
nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile.
By
Bird, at 4/23/2006 12:18:00 PM
Bogs, ever think of starting your own bumper sticker company?
Free door to door breast exams...you gotta wonder the kinds of reactions he'd be getting if he'd offered free prostate exams...
By
The Flabbergasted Heathen, at 4/23/2006 02:30:00 PM
bird - glad you could find a few laughs so as not to ruin your day completely by coming here... you "can't quit me," it seems... LOL
flab - the answer is "yes"
By
Pete Bogs, at 4/23/2006 02:42:00 PM
UNCONVENTIONAL WISDOM I suggest a new term
"protect and encourage"
By
Hellpig, at 4/23/2006 05:07:00 PM
hell - what about "protect and serve?" wait, that's taken... what about, "to serve man?" ahh, nevermind...
By
Pete Bogs, at 4/23/2006 05:41:00 PM
"It's ok Achmed. Don't feel so bad. So you're IED only took out three infidels. You'll do better next time. Come come now, let's have some tea and you can tell me all about it..."
I remember the early days of the Afghanistan mission, where they were dropping humanitarian supplies. For some reason I had a picture of Osama standing outside a cave, watching explosions go off in the distance, smiling the whole time. He begins to walk inside and it hit in the head by an air dropped PB&J sandwich.
By
The Flabbergasted Heathen, at 4/23/2006 06:01:00 PM
flab - a good friend of mine once suggested we drop Hustler Magazine instead of bombs in the Middle East... with their modesty and social taboos, that'd bring them down quicker than any ordnance...
By
Pete Bogs, at 4/23/2006 06:39:00 PM
hey - don't pretend your not really cheering that old guy on. Then again, if someone turned up on my doorstep offering such... service... it would depend on who it was.
By
fatty ~, at 4/23/2006 08:16:00 PM
fatty - he certainly picked an original tactic, I will give him that...
By
Pete Bogs, at 4/23/2006 08:43:00 PM
hell - I've got it: "no shirt, no shoes, no service..."
By
Pete Bogs, at 4/24/2006 03:27:00 PM
are sandals considered shoes?
By
Hellpig, at 4/25/2006 02:08:00 AM
hmm... footwear, yes, but shoes, I'm not sure...
By
Pete Bogs, at 4/25/2006 09:48:00 AM
Institutions and their "rules"!
I once went to McDonald's...
"How much is a fry?" I asked.
"What size?"
"No no, just one fry."
"We don't sell one fry sir."
"Oh..." so I ordered a small fry, took one, and left the rest on the counter. Bastards trying to push their rules on me...
(sandals aren't shoes, but they count as such for the rule)
By
The Flabbergasted Heathen, at 4/26/2006 02:20:00 PM
there was a comedian who did a spot where he was asking a barbecue place, "How much for one rib?"
By
Pete Bogs, at 4/26/2006 10:16:00 PM
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