FRAGMENTIA 13: Bite-sized slices of life

7.30.2006

Week Of 30 July, 2006

UNCONVENTIONAL WISDOM
Is "Sparky's" really a good name for a gas station?

*NSYNCER COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET
Would it be homophobic of me to say that Lance Bass has always "seemed" gay? And that name? Hello! "Lance" is a dead giveaway, boyfriend.

SAY, AREN'T YOU...
This website enables you to upload your photo, and will then purportedly find your celebrity doppleganger, i.e. the famous person you look most like. Or vice versa.

OUGHTA BE A BUMPER STICKER
God May Be Your Co-Pilot, But Satan Is My Flight Attendant

BUSH SAYS "F.U" TO US CONSTITUTION, NATION LOOKS ON IMPASSIVELY
Why is the president ignoring our laws? That's what at least one consternative newscaster is asking. It must be getting lonely up there at the top for Bush.

RELIGIOUS LEFT GETS IT RIGHT
Finally, some religious folk who understand their own beliefs supercede so-called patriotism.

7.16.2006

Week Of 16 July, 2006

HOW HAVE WE SURVIVED WITHOUT IT?
Scientists have developed a new chocolate that won't melt. The new, eh, substance holds its shape up to 122 degrees Fahrenheit, which is the exact temperature inside one of my pockets during the summer. The marketing slogan for the new sweetmeat: "Melts in your stomach, not in your mouth or hands."

CASTRATO LIBERATO DEL GRAVO
Italian scientists have exhumed the remains of an 18th-century opera singer who owed his talents in part to the fact that he was missing key (pun fully intended) male parts. The castrati had their private parts removed before puberty so they would retain their high-pitched singing voices. Jesus, and I thought Gary Coleman had tough "stage parents." The scientists could have saved themselves the trouble of digging the unfortunate man up; if they wanted to study a man with a woman's voice, they could have simply contacted Clay Aiken.

OUGHTA BE A BUMPER STICKER
My Other Son Is a US Marine
(culled from "My Other Car Is A Porsche" and "My Son Is A US Marine")

COULDA BEEN A SENATOR
Colorado beer magnate Peter Coors has had his driver's license taken away for driving under the influence of alcohol. Coors has admitted to drinking a beer about 30 minutes before he got behind the wheel and ran a stop sign back in May. I'm not sure what's more embarrassing - getting a DUI, or getting a DUI with one of Peter's beers in you.

LONG AIM OF THE LAW
A police constable in Hyberabad, India is in trouble for expectorating on students who were protesting an increase in college tuition fees. Now we see the violence inherent in the system!

SHOUT-OUT TO ALL MY BLOGGAZ!!!
Check out this blogger's site, and be sure to tell 'em Pete sent ya!

7.09.2006

Week Of 9 July, 2006

OUGHTA BE A BUMPER STICKER
Cold War Reenactors Society

THE UGLY, IMMOBILE AMERICAN
An 31-year-old American man lost the use of both his legs after being trampled during a mock bullfight related to the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. Apparently, if you mess with the bull you get the wheelchair for life. Bloody brilliant.

FAHRENHEIT 1941
Some far-right German extremists held an old-fashioned book burning earlier this week, but it didn't include Catcher In The Rye, The Satanic Bible or Lady Chatterly's Lover. Nope, it was for Anne Frank's diary. You've got to be a poor excuse for a human being when you get your kicks from burning the last free words of a teenage girl who died at a concentration camp. I say we unleash a "Night of the Busted Ass" on these Nazi mofos.

NAKED AMBITION
A Chinese film body double (aka "booby double" or "booty double") wants more than her body shown on the big screen - she wants her name up there, too. Does this mean an end to the objectification of people who show only certain parts of their bodies in the movies for money?

WHAT WEBSTER WON'T TELL YOU
Dump truck (singular noun): A truck used to deliver portable toilets from location to location.

SHOUT-OUT TO ALL MY BLOGGAZ
Check out this blogger's site, and be sure to tell 'em Pete sent ya!

7.02.2006

Week Of 2 July, 2006

Fragmentia 13 is taking a break this week. However, I invite you to read my new guest post on Jack's "Good Works!" blog.

PS: Feel free to browse back through any issues here you may have missed.