FRAGMENTIA 13: Bite-sized slices of life

7.16.2006

Week Of 16 July, 2006

HOW HAVE WE SURVIVED WITHOUT IT?
Scientists have developed a new chocolate that won't melt. The new, eh, substance holds its shape up to 122 degrees Fahrenheit, which is the exact temperature inside one of my pockets during the summer. The marketing slogan for the new sweetmeat: "Melts in your stomach, not in your mouth or hands."

CASTRATO LIBERATO DEL GRAVO
Italian scientists have exhumed the remains of an 18th-century opera singer who owed his talents in part to the fact that he was missing key (pun fully intended) male parts. The castrati had their private parts removed before puberty so they would retain their high-pitched singing voices. Jesus, and I thought Gary Coleman had tough "stage parents." The scientists could have saved themselves the trouble of digging the unfortunate man up; if they wanted to study a man with a woman's voice, they could have simply contacted Clay Aiken.

OUGHTA BE A BUMPER STICKER
My Other Son Is a US Marine
(culled from "My Other Car Is A Porsche" and "My Son Is A US Marine")

COULDA BEEN A SENATOR
Colorado beer magnate Peter Coors has had his driver's license taken away for driving under the influence of alcohol. Coors has admitted to drinking a beer about 30 minutes before he got behind the wheel and ran a stop sign back in May. I'm not sure what's more embarrassing - getting a DUI, or getting a DUI with one of Peter's beers in you.

LONG AIM OF THE LAW
A police constable in Hyberabad, India is in trouble for expectorating on students who were protesting an increase in college tuition fees. Now we see the violence inherent in the system!

SHOUT-OUT TO ALL MY BLOGGAZ!!!
Check out this blogger's site, and be sure to tell 'em Pete sent ya!

3 Comments:

  • strawberry shortfuse should invite shrub to dinner - hahahaha!

    By Blogger Bird, at 7/16/2006 11:25:00 AM  

  • I love that graphic he has... she had me at that!

    By Blogger Pete Bogs, at 7/16/2006 11:48:00 AM  

  • Uh, oh. It sounds as though there may be another scam coming out of Nigeria.

    The great chocolate scam.

    Beware bloggers. They might try to tempt you. Hell, they may even offer concert tickets if you will only invest.

    But first you must identify yourself by sending your SSN and bank account numbers.

    tee hee gag

    By Blogger Jack K., at 7/18/2006 09:06:00 PM  

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