FRAGMENTIA 13: Bite-sized slices of life

5.01.2007

It's A Sex-Mad Mad Mad Mad World

Close your legs and lock up those chastity belts good and tight. Sex madness is sweeping the globe, and you may be it's next, um, victim.

Suspected rodent rapist Richard Gere is a wanted man in India. A warrant has been issued for his arrest there after he repeatedly kissed his female co-host on a televised AIDS benefit. The traditionally modest country was thrown into chaos in the aftermath of the illicit act. Angry people started riots and demanded that both pervs/perps be prosecuted. Gere apologized, but you can't reason with the righteous. I can only imagine what would have happened had Gere been depicted kissing an Indian woman in a cartoon. (Yes, I know that was a different group of people, but they're reacting the same way, i.e. "over." And anyway, I'll cover them next.)

From the Middle East we hear that there's basically the Muslim equivalent of sex therapist Dr. Ruth in Egypt. Dr. Heba Kotb has a TV show, The Big Talk, where she candidly discusses sexuality for married couples. Yes, only married couples, though I imagine it would be hard to prevent anyone tuning in. What's amazing is not that she reveals Muslims actually do have sex (as did our folks and their folks), but that she hasn't been taken off the air and arrested on morals charges. Here you have a woman talking about, among other things, "masturbation... sex over the Internet" while she sits with her head modestly covered as if those are pubes she's hiding under there. Beats me.

Restrooms aren't for rest, and "comfort women" weren't exactly for comfort. They were prostitutes who were often forced to work against their will. And it has come to light that, no sooner had the Japanese surrendered to the US during World War II, than they set up brothels to quench the carnal appetites of our GI's during the post-war occupation. I would not be the man to deny any person their share of the corporeal pursuits, least of all our boys in the Pacific, but this is one instance where I would definitely call sex "shameful."

And speaking of sexual slavery...

Condi's right-hand man (no pun intended), Randall L. Tobias, resigned last week after his name was revealed to be on the client list of a Washington, DC madam. And more prominent names are expected to come. This case is interesting not only because of Tobias' proximity to top government officials, but because he had previously headed a
group called AIDS Relief on behalf of President Bush. This organization stresses abstinence over condom use, and opposes prostitution and sex slavery.

In his defense, Tobias claims there was "no sex,' but merely some massages from the "gals." In other words, he did not have sexual relations with those women, and they didn't inhale his semen.
No sex? I guess it depends on what the meaning of come is. But a couple hundred bucks per hour and he didn't get laid? Yeah, and Ted Haggard didn’t get man-love from his hired hand either. Tobias is a man who really knows how to blow his taxpayer-provided salary. In a manner of speaking.

Sex isn't going away. Not for the rich or the poor, the powerful or the meek, the Christian or the Muslim. It's time human beings acknowledged their natural urges, suppressed them when appropriate, and celebrated them responsibly whenever possible. Who's with me?

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38 Comments:

  • i did not click any of the links, but Richard Gere was just reinacting a Wear a condom if you are going to have sex spot that he did with the singer that went over really well with the truckers that it was aimed at... not so much with the media... the singer had agreed to the reinactment, no spit was swapped... so they say.

    truckers are spreading aids by using prostitutes but not condoms, and bringing the aids home to the wife.

    By Blogger Infinitesimal, at 5/01/2007 12:14:00 PM  

  • infini - that's ok about the links; you read the best part, i.e. what I wrote!

    I link to stories just to let readers know I'm not making this stuff up... if you have faith in me, it's not even necessary to click on those links... lol

    By Blogger Pete Bogs, at 5/01/2007 01:29:00 PM  

  • where are all your peeps??

    By Blogger Infinitesimal, at 5/02/2007 12:31:00 PM  

  • they don't seem to know my secondary address here... I hope more show up to my party...

    By Blogger Pete Bogs, at 5/02/2007 01:27:00 PM  

  • it's because the bushwhacker scared them off maybe...

    go tell them where to find you personally.

    By Blogger Infinitesimal, at 5/03/2007 12:34:00 PM  

  • Look at this email i sent...


    ATT: LAPD & Chief William Bratton


    You are a terrorist organization. You have proved this to me and the whole country. I pray that you have your asses sued for so much money, your Pig Department does not exist any longer. Expect more Feds soon. I have contacted my representatives. I bet that many people across the country are doing the same.

    I will never ever go to your Pig Violent city.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5/03/2007 06:56:00 PM  

  • Why does the black guy from that abc tv show need sensativity training on homos? Shouldnt all the neocons get the same training. Why do they spite the gays?

    Religion is dead. There are no gods. All that believe in a god have a mental illness.

    Cody Rice is going to Syria. What a traitor. Fuck her. Hypocrite.

    War Criminals: Cheny, Bush, Rice, Rummmy, Rove, Regis.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5/03/2007 07:04:00 PM  

  • ATT: Duncan Hunter

    George Bush was the actual president that started the military downsizing.



    Stupid Fuck.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5/03/2007 09:28:00 PM  

  • anon - I will be covering all of those in a future blog...

    By Blogger Pete Bogs, at 5/04/2007 11:55:00 AM  

  • sex, sex, sex....
    dumbfuck trucker husbands. bad enough to cheat on the wife, worse to get her sick as well.

    richard gere can kiss me any time he likes - hee hee hee. he's always been one of my favorites.

    dare i say this about condom use - as i told my son:

    if you're gonna take that out of your pocket, be sure to wrap it up nice.

    By Blogger Bird, at 5/07/2007 06:25:00 PM  

  • wrap it nice, but not too tightly...

    By Blogger Pete Bogs, at 5/07/2007 09:07:00 PM  

  • but tight enough so the the condom doesn't slip off - hahahaha!

    could also wrap it up pretty - you know, colors and flavors, and such.

    are french ticklers still mentioned in gentlemanly quarters? what the heck were they anyway?

    bogs - you're lagging your posts. (though i should complain, given my laxity of late).

    flap/flap/swoosh!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5/08/2007 09:34:00 PM  

  • anon - the Carnival is going on at my regular post, but ends tomorrow, 5/9... this and the crime post on here were meant to be snacks while you wait... I return tomorrow...

    By Blogger Pete Bogs, at 5/08/2007 09:52:00 PM  

  • I hear the Gere has got some funk-nasty halitosis.

    pity

    By Blogger Infinitesimal, at 5/10/2007 11:57:00 AM  

  • *raises hand*
    Count me... I'm w/ya. =)

    By Blogger Lil Bit, at 6/01/2007 06:33:00 PM  

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    By Blogger barb michelen, at 1/06/2008 03:05:00 PM  

  • Hmphf. Nothing new here either. lol

    By Blogger Lil Bit, at 6/28/2008 07:39:00 PM  

  • You write very well.

    By Anonymous Channon, at 11/11/2008 01:28:00 PM  

  • OK, I just clicked on it (the blog, that is) and I just want to state for the record...
    I DON'T want to be kissed by Richard Gere!
    NO!
    Bad, Richard! Bad!

    On the other hand, I may be late in getting here, But, I went twenty-two years without a kiss and two weekends ago I got a short kiss from a beautiful woman and it was so very sweet.
    Which is funny because she smokes and I quit back in ought-two!
    (archaic, maybe, but it still sounds better than oh-two)

    Ah, sex.
    If it's on my menu in the future, I shall indulge, but, I kind of let her have some lead time, too.
    Not a sexist pig at all!

    I just like girls because they are so warm and soft in all the right places)

    So, some of these comments are two and a half years old?
    Do folks still think the same thing now as in then?

    By Blogger boneman, at 9/21/2009 10:57:00 AM  

  • yes, boneman.
    Sex is exactly the same as it was two and a half years ago.
    A few billion lost sperm and toe funny grins in the end.

    By Blogger boneman, at 10/08/2009 02:40:00 PM  

  • uh...perhaps I meant two funny grins?

    By Blogger boneman, at 10/11/2009 01:01:00 PM  

  • well, might as well do my part to at least keep the comments current
    How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    Two.
    But, how you get them into the light bulb, I don't know.

    What?
    OLD?!
    Really?

    Sorry.

    By Blogger bearly domesticated boneman, at 11/29/2009 08:40:00 PM  

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    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/20/2010 03:06:00 PM  

  • well...I don't give a rat's ass for yields on stocks and bonds, but...as for golf?
    Two women were playing golf
    One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

    The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin,
    fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

    The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.
    "Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist, and I know I could relieve
    your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.

    'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied.
    He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

    At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away
    and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

    She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments
    And asked, 'How does that feel'?

    He replied, 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken....

    Topic is sex, right?
    Learning to be quiet is a valuable lesson....

    By Blogger boneman, at 1/28/2010 05:00:00 PM  

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    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2/03/2010 12:37:00 PM  

  • I still don't give a rat's behind for stocks and high yeilds, mainly because I'm broke right now.
    So, at the risk of sounding rude...
    Piss off.

    Now on the other hand, I come bearing a story about (sorta) sex...
    A Tale About Condoms

    Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

    Maude: "What in the hell is that?"

    Mabel: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."

    Maude: "Where did you get it?"

    Mabel: "You can get them at any drugstore."

    The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

    The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

    Maude: "Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

    The pharmacist fainted.

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  • over three years ago, you posted this sex post...
    Over three years ago.
    My god, you've become separated from what drives folks on...

    Some new form of masturbation, sir?

    By Blogger boneman, at 6/08/2010 04:07:00 PM  

  • I see where Danica Patrick has some serious competition, now.
    Well, as soon as she gets just a little bit better trained...
    She did real good on keeping her pull in numbers low and very short.
    Problem is, she's a blonde.
    So, she only pulled in four times for gas, only twice for tire changes, and fifty-three times for asking directions...

    By Blogger boneman, at 6/21/2010 08:50:00 PM  

  • should old acqaintence be forgot, till ,...
    oh. Hi...
    I didn't know you still came down here...

    Well, dang! Look at all those idiot ads, would ya?
    Miserable pests they are.
    Ah well.
    About the marijuana thing...
    What you have is an economic boom in hundreds of jobs available to anyone that wants to work. Granted, it probably won't be started by a smoker, but, good work none-the-less.
    You have a boost to the taxes...although I mean for them to legalize it across the board. That way, drug cartels get no satisfaction from selling something so cheap, because anyone with seven seeds can grow enough for a year. On the other hand, I see it like some of the old church gals selling their tomatoes at church. A bag here and there for fresh tomatoes is fine, but, the Red Gold Tomatoe Company has to pony up some tax.
    Worried about guns?
    If he's drunk, he's gonna shoot you. If he's stoned, just keep telling him jokes, he'll laugh so hard he'll forget what he was doing.

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  • I worry a bit, sometimes.
    I think..."he hasn't posted for quite some time, now,"
    and I picture that you've fallen face first into a huge mug of Guiness, and, well, it tasted so well, you're actually drowning...
    (I know. It didn't happen...just, I worry about it)
    So I called 911, and they have permission to bounce on into your domicile (home? castle? not in THIS country, it isn't a castle)
    But when they break in, there you are with some pretty thing who has promised to show you how to toke on a spliff if you show her your secret massage therapy for...well. You know.
    But anyway, there she is cuddled up on your lap, and the first words out of the cop's mouth are
    "MILLIE! My DAUGHTER! She's only FOURTEEN!"
    and the baton raises up in the air...and your last memories were...
    "Hey... boneman is right. Pot DOES make you laugh..hahaha ha"
    So...
    I think I'll skip on the 911 call.

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